By examining the data of people in long-term relationships, similarity is considered one of the ruling priorities. Tanya Horowitz, a researcher at the University of Colorado Boulder, led a study on these trends and examined the data by analyzing past research and large-scale statistical data sets. According to the results of this research, which were published in the journal Nature Human Behavior in 2023, 89% of the traits between emotional partners are correlated.
In other words, if a person exercises a lot, his partner probably has the same characteristic. This can apply to politics, health habits, drug use, and more. Horowitz and colleagues analyzed raw data with 133 behavioral traits. According to the results, relationships of people with less similarity were not so common.
So do the above findings mean that you are destined for someone who will be a carbon copy of you? not exactly One of the different characteristics between emotional partners is their responsibility in social relationships, which is called social dominance. If the social dominance of both sides of the relationship is the same, they will usually have a conflict.
In contrast, two modest personalities who go with the flow may never have problems in a relationship. People who have opposite social dominance usually live happier than people of the same category. It is also possible for two people who are different on paper to be attracted to each other for the same reason: mutual attraction or so-called chemistry.
For example, research on speed dating shows that what we want in a romantic partner will not always match what we end up physically or emotionally attracted to. How this process works is still a mystery, partly because when we talk to someone face-to-face, we generally look for similarities. Increased overall similarity is directly related to better emotional chemistry.
Even if the two sides have relative differences, over time they can become similar to each other, which is called convergence. Spending time together can shape things like habits and lifestyles. This feature can increase the attraction of the relationship as it develops.
Ultimately, what we think we are and the impact we have on our emotional partner play a role in the durability of the relationship. For example, a 2000 study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology showed that it didn’t matter whether strangers or friends thought the partners were similar, but rather, interest and relationship satisfaction depended on whether people in a relationship thought their romantic partners were similar. They are similar. According to Slater, it’s all about your mental judgment. If you feel that this person is similar to you, then continue the relationship; Because this feature seems to be the most important.
